The Birth Story of Our Daughter

Every child ought to have a birth story. The towering characters of the Bible such as Jesus and Moses had them. The gospels tell us of a baby heralded by angels, attended to by wisemen and escaped from Herod. Baby Moses survived genocide via a stratagem of placement into a basket that floated on the Nile River.

The telling of these birth stories give a sense of identity and God-given purpose. Our son Joshua Luther Roquiz has a birth story. He was breech during pregnancy and we did everything we could to try to flip him. Ultimately, we learned to surrender our plans to God’s plans. We also also learned that our son has a mind of his own. Now at two years old, that description continues to suit him.

The story of our second child begins with a wish to be closer to family. With Mom in her third year of battling cancer, I wanted to bless her with another grandchild. Additionally, some days it seemed as if Joshua was running circles around us. We needed the help of family.

Because Melanie’s parents and my parents lived in the same town, the decision became obvious. We would need to move 3,000 miles from Coeur d’Alene, Idaho to Avon Park, Florida. I have friends who tell me it’s good to be close to home but not too close. We totally violated that rule. In fact, we would move not only to the same town but into the same house as my in-laws. My parents’ house is located one mile away.

The Trip Wished For

During the move we fulfilled another wish – to go on a cross-country trip. I had never seen Lake Tahoe and Melanie had never seen the Oregon Coast. After packing our POD, I drove off with my second trimester wife and 22-month old. I must say that after traveling 6 weeks and over 7,000 miles I’m not ready to do that again anytime soon. But they both did better than expected. Furthermore, we collected plenty of both pictures and memories in stops such as Whidbey Island, Seattle, Seaside, Canon Beach, Tillamook, Lake Tahoe, Salt Lake City, Colorado, Houston, New Orleans, and Tallahasee.

The Birth Wished For

At 36 weeks, Melanie began feeling contractions. This made us nervous because Joshua was born at 36 weeks and 6 days and therefore premature (pregnancy needs to at least 37 weeks in order to avoid such designation). Melanie was placed on bedrest while I took on the care of Joshua, house chores, and a greater appreciation for domestic work.

I breathed a sigh of relief and whispered a prayer of thanks when Melanie made it to 37 weeks. Though she continued to get anywhere from zero to four contractions every hour, we could now safely have the baby. Perhaps we could even make it to Melanie’s scheduled repeat C-section on December 2nd. But that would be wishful thinking.

At 38 weeks, on November 24, 2019 at 12:53pm, Evelyn Milan Roquiz was born at 7 pounds, 2 ounces, 20 inches in length with APGARS at 8 and 9. Alas, it was sooner than expected and we were still hoping to accomplish those little details before one delivers. Furthermore, Melanie didn’t get to deliver with her obstetrician since it was a weekend and Dr. Cooper was not on call.

But in retrospect, there were so many other things that went right. During a delicate moment, I saw Melanie’s widening eyes filled with anxiety. She was wondering what went wrong in order for us to have this baby a week earlier than planned. I squeezed her hand and told her, “We think this baby is early, but this baby will come on time. God knows the best time. And that time is now.”

Dr. Cooper’s partner, Dr. Kahn did an excellent job. She massaged Melanie while she had her spinal block. During the C-section she asked how Melanie and I got together serving to distract Melanie from her anxiety. Melanie’s anesthesiologist was a familiar face, Dr. Holman – the mother of one of Melanie’s former first grade students. Mom flew in from Houston where she gets treatment and my sister Deborah flew in from Tennessee. Both were coming for an early Thanksgiving and originally had not expected to see the baby since they would fly out before December 2nd. My sister joked that she would slip castor oil into Melanie’s food just to initiate early contractions. Turns out she wouldn’t need to do that. Both Mom and my sister would hold baby Evelyn in their arms the day she was born.

The Child Wished For

Here’s how we came about our daughter’s name. We picked Milan because – as with other Filipino names – it had our names Andrew and Melanie in it. Particularly if you say it with a filipino accent (Mee-la-nee and Ahn-droo). Evelyn means “a child wished for” and on this child we hang our hopes and dreams.

I wish to bless both my parents and my in-laws.

I hope Mom beats cancer, or at the very least her remaining years are filled with meaning and joy.

I dream to create a loving community where my family can thrive.

I can wish this because the Lord blessed us with this child. And every child has a birth story.