Two days ago Mom was at death’s door. Because of the decline of her lungs, heart and metabolic status, she needed to be intubated. Before the coronavirus pandemic, if a loved one was sick in the hospital, you dropped what you were doing to go see them. I had seen my parents do this for my grandparents. My expectation was the same should Mom get sick.
Nowadays, visitors are banned from hospitals. In fact, Mom had two “unauthorized visits” from hospital employees. Unless direct patient care is involved, no one is allowed in the room. Unfortunately, this had lead to patients dying alone without family by the bedside. Not only is COVID-19 killing people, it’s robbing them of their humanity.
To restore some sense of humanity, nurses have been going above the call of duty and facilitating FaceTime or Zoom conversations between alone patients and their families. Family from all over the country can beam into the room through technology. The nurses at MD Anderson have been incredible and have allowed us to do this with Mom everyday.
All this brings up a personal and practical question: Should Dad and I go to Houston? My sister was already there. David was in California and Dad and I resided in Florida. With visitors banned from the hospital, did it make sense for us to go there? It wouldn’t change any medical management. The doctors had been reaching us by phone and this wouldn’t change. We could still FaceTime from anywhere in the country and this would also remain the same. On a practical level nothing would be gained. No benefit achieved.
And yet when I told Dad we should go to Houston, he also agreed. We both knew we wouldn’t be accomplishing much. And yet, deep down inside we both felt like we had to go. We would go to Houston. And even if we couldn’t be by Mom’s bedside, we could at least be in the same city.
I talked to a wise friend about this before taking the 15-hour trip driving through the night. I told him how it didn’t make sense for us to go but somehow felt like the right thing to do. He said sometimes we do things not because it makes sense intellectually but because we’re human.
The desire to come close is not only a human impulse but a divine one. God showing up in a burning bush to Moses. God inhabiting a temple. God descending to earth as a baby. God sending his Holy Spirit. To come near someone in their pain and sorrow is to act upon a spiritual instinct.
Mom continues to improve today. Things are far from perfect. But she’s doing so well the doctors are considering removing the breathing tube tomorrow. Test results from the bronchoalveolar lavage which will tell us whether or not this is COVID-19 will be in tomorrow or Friday.
A lot of you have been praying and I know those prayers are being answered. Thus far, the Psalmist prayer has fulfilled for the Roquiz family.
“The eyes of Yahweh are on the righteous and his ears are attentive to their cry” – Psalm 34:15
Dad and I made it to safely to Houston this morning. We won’t get to visit Mom in the hospital. Though we can’t touch her, she’ll know we’re closer to her than before. The gift of such a gesture is plenty enough benefit.
5 Comments
We are always praying for your mom Ate Nida.
Say hi to her from the Persigas Family of Bayugan City Agusan del sur.
God bless us.
Your presence will give her all the endorphins and strength to “Rise take up her bed and walk!”
Praying continuously for your mom!
Amen and Amen.
Andrew we love your mom. She’s always the one who inspires, encourages, makes us laugh no matter the situation, the provider of anything possible, the loyal friend, the passionate giver, the most positive person who completely trusts God in all circumstances. She’s loved and we pray for a miracle for her and for the ones she live – daily!
Such a kind and beautiful description of Mom. Thank you.