My Son Turns One: What I Learned in the Last Year

Joshua turns one this month. I’ve written about him several times this past year – from his untimely birth, to how he makes me a better doctor, to how he has changed the relationship between my wife and I.

The anxiety from first time parenting has abated somewhat – just the other night I found myself putting my hand on his chest to see if he was still breathing. I can say one year after fumbling to install (incorrectly) his car seat the day I took him home, it finally feels like we’ve hit our stride (I say that now). Here are 17 lessons from the past 12 months:

1. The difference between a wet and dry diaper is a blue stripe.
2. Knowing how to carry a baby with one arm is an essential skill.
3. For all the costs a baby incurs, at least you get a nice tax break.
4. Babies aren’t cute when first born. Our son had alien-like eyes when he came out of the womb. He’s definitely improved since that time.
   
5. I’ve learned how to check for a dirty diaper without first removing it completely.
6. My wife puts her needs last behind Joshua and myself. As a result, I need to put her needs first.
7. I’ve learned how to sleep through baby cries…just kidding, of course, I wake up and ask my wife if she needs help…well at least some of the time…
8. Babies are an anti-aphrodisiac.
9. Did I mention I know how to change a diaper?
10. When I sing to my son, an epiphany hits me: The overwhelming love I have for my son is exactly how my own parents loved me.
11. If you help get the baby dressed for church, the wife is much less stressed in the morning.
12. Having a kid means playing second fiddle. This is hard for me particularly because I’ve always played first violin.
13. I’ve learned to feed myself and another human being at the same time.
14. Date nights without baby are a must-have.
15. The cute thing Joshua does today is gone tomorrow. For example, Joshua no longer moves his hips to the music. The hardest thing for me to do is to stop thinking about what I have to do and concentrate on this divine gift in front of me now.
    
16. Even babies start learning to fake cry.
17. The minimum number for true love is three. This is something I learned when studying the Trinitarian nature of God. The ultimate expression of love is sacrifice. When living single and alone, it’s not hard to think that life is about you. Even when it’s just Melanie and I, there was still room for selfishness because I was the sole recipient of Melanie’s love. But when a third enters the relationship, now both of us must defer our needs to this baby. In this context, I am learning the true meaning of love.

On this day Joshua turns 1 year old, the statement from Jewish Theologian Abraham Heschel comes to mind, “…get up in the morning and look at the world in a way that takes nothing for granted. Everything is phenomenal; everything is incredible; never treat life casually. To be spiritual is to be amazed.”